Dear Fluffystuff,

Oh Fluffystuff, what a busy kitty I am! I have no photographs of myself to send because I am toiling in a whirlwind of King Lear preparations. Therefore I present my snapshot for the week: Sneakers attempting exercise (see how proud he looks with his meager weights?) Any other week I would force my brothers to attend my Kitty Wiggles class, and Fluffystuff, you would adore my Kitty Wiggles class. Not only does it provide lethargic lazies with a chance to dance their way to kitty fitness, but they can also witness me, their instructor, dancing and wiggling on stage! Did you know that I am classically trained in ballet, and that I spent my kitten years studying at the Opera National de Paris? Chassé, jeté, plié, oui oui!

Sneakers was recently fired from his position as set designer for King Lear; in a scene that was tragic and embarrassing to witness, we found him nibbling the tulle costumes and shredding the papier maché backdrops. He’s spending his new free time lifting weights (inedible ones, I hope.) I see his newest kitten siblings are helping him: Brisket and Buttons, Peanut and Pumpakin, Herbles and Ham Hock. I am delighted to see him wearing those dreadful striped shorts! I keep assuring him that they are so flattering on his figure!

Fondly,

Jellybean