The most wonderful time of the year indeed, Fluffystuff! It is time to begin planning my annual performance of Christmastime’s greatest entertainment: The Nutcracker. Ballet companies the world over plan their piddly renditions in their rinky-dink theaters, but none compare to the grandeur of Jellybean’s Nutcracker. Were both Tchaikovsky and Balanchine alive to witness my great production, they would find themselves agape and in awe!
Now I do encounter some logistical casting difficulties at this stage. Since I am undoubtedly the star, I prefer to perform the roles of both Sugar Plum Fairy as well as the Mouse-Murdering, Handsome-Soldier Hero (I don’t recall his actual name.) However, my beautiful girlfriend Cordelia has informed me that from now on, she is the Sugar Plum Fairy. A gentleman recognizes when he must concede defeat!
Sneakers will obviously be Mother Ginger and his gigantic herd of a family will obviously play her children. I told him that he must wear his costume and he must not eat or nibble on his bonnet or tassels. Scampers wants to play Clara, and his audition was so-so, so I said “fine.” I suspect he believes he will actually receive all the toys under the tree for himself – tee-hee!
Do you think you might be able to attend our one and only magnificent performance, Fluffystuff? We’re scheduled for next Friday evening around 2am, once everyone’s awake and feeling lively. It would mean so much to me, and I’m only charging $4,999 per ticket! I know you’ve met Mei Mei and Mr. Too O’Tall, and they’ve promised to come. Oh, and Cocobean will also be attending, and you know how she’s always such a spectacle. She said she is bringing a raccoon as her date!